This poem is in response to the short story called Misery by Anton Chekhov
“To Whom Shall I Tell My Grief?”
Sorrow shimmers through his body
His son – his little baby calf – dead!
oh! What agony!
To lose a loved one is to repent a lifetime
If only someone would hear him bawl
Listen vehemently to his grief – his distress – his pain.
He would cry to the world
Curse at the cosmos
To acquire the wishful years lost;
For his only son to reappear in his arms again.
R.I.P – Kuzma Ionitch
Here they appear again
the demons, they envelop the brain
Confusing any ounce of sanity that used to be naturally present
Distortions of visual images
Distortions of sound vibrations in the air
If there’s such a thing as hell
it needs to be this
A deception of the real world
A blockage to function
Unnecessary triggers and gradual increase in amplitude
Weakness in the reality;
Rightness in the wrong;
Believing in the non-existent; believing in the lies.
Deception is hell.
A form of psychedelia.
Fight against all odds.
One of my favorite songs is Enigma’s return to innocence
That will be the return to yourself
The return to innocence
There’s so much meaning and fulfillment that I receive from the song, it’s hard to explain exactly what I feel or to put it in words. But it will not stop me from trying.
I guess it’s because there’s a deep sense of innocence in me which is yet to be untapped. This innocence I feel is pure and cannot be corrupted even under the influence of the most corrupt. It is a feeling of purity, a sense of fulfillment. It reminds me that I do not have to try to be anyone else, but what I am and how I feel is enough to gain what I want out of life, being myself is good enough to make people like me for who I am – and it works every-time.
Whenever I try to be something I am not, whenever the feeling of restlessness kicks in and I do something I am not too proud of, I know it is because I am not my true self. The innocent self within me will never lead me astray. It’s about being human with all our joys, sorrows, difficulties and just being true to the way we feel – whatever it may be. That is what makes me a beautiful person and all the beautiful people I have met seem to have the same attribute of letting their innocence show. It’s when we are afraid or terrified of something that the innocence is hidden. It’s still there but it requires confidence. It requires brevity. It requires understanding and enlightenment. The first notion that appears in someone’s mind when I say the word “innocent” is that of a child – yes, children are innocent but you do not have to be a child to maintain this innocence. Innocence or being a good person embodys everyone regardless of age or substance. The innocence I am mentioning is that of a more mature innocence than that of a child. A child might be innocent because he or she is not aware of everything around them and have not been told. But the innocence relevant to this blog article is that of a mature innocence where people know (say about sex or alcohol or abuse) and yet remain innocent.Yet remain to be on the good side. Yet remain to be transparent in the way they perform actions.
This transparency and this innocence is a result of truth. Truth is the main attribute needed to achieve this innocence, the innocence required for us to trust ourselves, for us to return to our own innocent self – truth is the pathway. As much as I try to be my innocent self I cannot help but understand that judgement does not go hand in hand with innocence.
Love is acceptance without judgement – and what else is love? If not innocence. Trying to be someone you are not will never lead you to the right path. Remember this. You can only be you. You can only find innocence within yourself. Only then will the rest of the world become available to you. This is a rule I need to live by and I need to repeat to myself everyday as much as possible. I have only stepped into the realm of innocence a few years ago and it is time to develop that innocence within me to achieve the impossible. To be truly happy, not just with myself but with everyone else around me.
Any feedback in the comments section is appreciated.
Let’s smile a little more.
So that we receive love from those who love us
So that the daffodils bloom a little brighter
So that we can all rejoice and come together
Smile for the love of life; for life itself can be beautiful
Much like this poem, conception from the conceived
Conception from the mother of all smiles
Smile to touch lives
Smile to give and take
So, smile a little more
Bloom a little more
Smile gravitates the world, much like Earth itself, like the cosmos
Carpe Diem – Sieze the day, the month, the year
to make a lifetime of smiles.
🙂 🙂 (A smile from me to you)
There was a deep sense of contentment in him. He wasn’t married, hardly ever had a girlfriend, he was a 27 year old virgin. Yes, he’d had relationships of course but they never were successful enough to last. That was one of the sorrows he’d endured. He knew he would find someone. Maybe he would have to wait a long time, longer than most of his friends who were already married or had someone and were definitely not virgins. He had attracted all the things that had happened in his life. So, really, he had no one else to blame. He created his own life.
But nonetheless, he was satisfied. Very frighteningly satisfied with who he was. He could drink a cup of coffee, sit with himself for hours, go to a museum and still feel completely happy and joy for the way he lived his life. He was content but felt a pang of loneliness. Loneliness not because he felt lonely, but because of what other people might perceive him to be. He cared a lot about other people.
He had a dark past. The future he knew would get a lot better. He had amended his mistakes for the sins he had committed. Even though he always had problems with maintaining relationships he knew he would get there. Get to the place where most people feel happy in sharing secrets, sharing their life with others. He had a sense of hidden satisfaction, where he didn’t feel the need to share things with other people. He only had to share things with himself, and that made him happy. However, he still wanted to get married, he still wanted to have a wife, a soul-mate, SOMEBODY to call his own! Often he would sing the song “Can anybody find somebody for me” but only in the 4 walls of his room.
There she was. His soul-mate. He knew it, the minute he laid eyes on her that she was the one. They met by accident. But he had to wait, and waiting was something he detested. He hated waiting. I mean, who likes waiting? He had to make the right moves this time. He had to see that it works out.
Lets see what happens in the part 2…….
He’s in the room! She feels a kind of shiver go through her spine. All around her body this jitter of nervousness. Her stomach gets a bit sick looking at him, she’s been waiting to see his face the entire day. All she can think, feel and do surrounds his aura.
He notices her too, but nonchalantly pretends to be busy with other things. Her sick obsession makes him wonder, why me? Why cant she just be normal around me like she is with other people, for instance the way she is with her friends? I like her as a friend, nothing more. I dont like her the way she likes me, not in the same way because I already have Alisha my childhood sweetheart.
She goes up to him! Her feelings blinders her. “Do you happen to have notes for Doolittle’s class” she asks him! James gives her a classmate smile, tells her he doesn’t have the notes, hoping she’ll take the hint.
She makes a sad face but takes the hint. She’s tried so hard, yet he’s been so distant. Maybe its time to move on, she thinks. Time to avoid ‘Too good for her’ James.
A few months later, another fish in the sea happens to like her and they get together. Plenty of fishes in the sea, they talk about James and laugh at the foolishness.
Obsession over unrequited love is one that can affect anyone. Probably everyone of us has experienced some kind of rejection. Some kind of break up.
It takes time to move on, but its possible. Keep hope alive!
Plenty of fishes in the sea! There really are.