Life

Life is a long journey

People say life is short but it’s not

It definitely goes quickly

Which only when you look back

It’s still been long

It’s taken many years, doing what you’re doing

Many years to master your skills

Many years doing the same old thing

Talking to the same old people

The same friends and family

They tell you to get married, have children and fit in

But none of that will make you happy

Many marriages fail, children leave you behind

All you’re left is with yourself

So before you try to ‘fit in’

Try to be happy

Find your strengths

Reach for the stars

You don’t know what’s to come

Anything is possible

You only realise that as you grow

Be your own best friend

Live your own life

 

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Bellow My Grief

This poem is in response to the short story called Misery by Anton Chekhov 

“To Whom Shall I Tell My Grief?”

Sorrow shimmers through his body

His son – his little baby calf – dead!

oh! What agony!

To lose a loved one is to repent a lifetime

If only someone would hear him bawl

Listen vehemently to his grief – his distress – his pain.

He would cry to the world

Curse at the cosmos

To acquire the wishful years lost;

For his only son to reappear in his arms again.

R.I.P – Kuzma Ionitch

The Innocence in Me

One of my favorite songs is Enigma’s return to innocence  

That will be the return to yourself

The return to innocence

There’s so much meaning and fulfillment that I receive from the song, it’s hard to explain exactly what I feel or to put it in words. But it will not stop me from trying.

I guess it’s because there’s a deep sense of innocence in me which is yet to be untapped. This innocence I feel is pure and cannot be corrupted even under the influence of the most corrupt. It is a feeling of purity, a sense of fulfillment. It reminds me that I do not have to try to be anyone else, but what I am and how I feel is enough to gain what I want out of life, being myself is good enough to make people like me for who I am – and it works every-time.

Whenever I try to be something I am not, whenever the feeling of restlessness kicks in and I do something I am not too proud of, I know it is because I am not my true self. The innocent self within me will never lead me astray. It’s about being human with all our joys, sorrows, difficulties and just being true to the way we feel – whatever it may be. That is what makes me a beautiful person and all the beautiful people I have met seem to have the same attribute of letting their innocence show. It’s when we are afraid or terrified of something that the innocence is hidden. It’s still there but it requires confidence. It requires brevity. It requires understanding and enlightenment. The first notion that appears in someone’s mind when I say the word “innocent” is that of a child – yes, children are innocent but you do not have to be a child to maintain this innocence. Innocence or being a good person embodys everyone regardless of age or substance. The innocence I am mentioning is that of a more mature innocence than that of a child. A child might be innocent because he or she is not aware of everything around them and have not been told. But the innocence relevant to this blog article is that of a mature innocence where people know (say about sex or alcohol or abuse) and yet remain innocent.Yet remain to be on the good side. Yet remain to be transparent in the way they perform actions.

This transparency and this innocence is a result of truth. Truth is the main attribute needed to achieve this innocence, the innocence required for us to trust ourselves, for us to return to our own innocent self – truth is the pathway. As much as I try to be my innocent self I cannot help but understand that judgement does not go hand in hand with innocence.

Love is acceptance without judgement – and what else is love? If not innocence. Trying to be someone you are not will never lead you to the right path. Remember this. You can only be you. You can only find innocence within yourself. Only then will the rest of the world become available to you. This is a rule I need to live by and I need to repeat to myself everyday as much as possible. I have only stepped into the realm of innocence a few years ago and it is time to develop that innocence within me to achieve the impossible. To be truly happy, not just with myself but with everyone else around me.

Any feedback in the comments section is appreciated. 

The art of writing

I received a comment from one of my followers a few days ago basically saying that my posts are not as ‘great’ as they were before or not as engrossing. What has happened? He asked. So this post is in reply to that comment. The exact comment was “Hey, you used to write great – I miss your super writings. Past few posts are just a little bit out of track! come on!”

Well, first off thank you for saying that some of my writings were “super” but I really don’t know where I got lost in the jungle of writing to make you feel that I’ve been out of track. I’ll try my best to get my “super” writing gear on. But unfortunately, realistically I do not think there is such a thing.

Sure, writing can be planned in that the author can decide exactly what to write and when. But, the author writes for his/her own will and not for the will of the others. As much as it is difficult to tell you what happened to my writing style, I feel I have matured a lot in my writing these past few months since I started to write professionally. However, blogging is different to professional writing and something I still have a lot to learn from.

Writing is an art. It is a creative process. Many times it is unstable and fluctuating – a little like a stock market. So when you asked me what happened to my writing, why I haven’t been as creative as I was before, to be honest the answer is I do not know and I can only guess.

I write for my own pleasures. Writing makes me happy – any type of writing makes me happy even this blog post is making me happy. That’s not to say I do not care for feedback because I do – for my own possible improvement.

Many years ago I used to fear the thought of writing a blog post or the thought of writing as an art. It took me a lot of inner struggle to locate myself as a writer. It’s something I do not want to give up on. It’s a type of emancipation, liberating myself from the fear. Telling or rather proving to myself that I can. I constantly can. It’s a form, it’s a process. Like everything it takes time.

Writing, like many other things can be a tedious and mundane task if you’re unsure of what to write about. A little like I am now. I haven’t really dug deep into myself to answer your question – which I think will reveal the best answer. I have been writing professional articles which is basically based on research. However, I’m not well versed with blogging. I’m quite new. I need some inputs and tips on how to be better.

More importantly I need to learn what kind of material really goes out there, markets itself. What stories do people really like? What do they not like? Does a post making it to the desired popularity level lead to a higher quality? I doubt it, but like I said I write for my own pleasure.

Do feel free to express your thoughts in the comments section below or to give me some helpful tips and inputs. 

meeting a friend

There is something special in socializing and exchanging ideas. Most of us have our own individual thoughts and beliefs but what we say and how we portray ourselves to the world is different. I just met up with a friend today, we spoke for a long time and even though he said a lot of things, I felt there were some “in-between the lines” “secret” meanings I had to take away from it without him ever telling me anything about what he really wanted to say or what his actual intention was. Somethings go without saying. Body language and hidden meanings through senses speaks louder than words.

We spoke for quite a while about books, what we have been up to, movies etc. Just like friends do. But the fact that he needed me more than I thought he did, and the hidden meanings he was trying to convey were a bit strange since he had never acted so different before. But nevertheless, I still enjoyed it. There is a sense of joy when you know that you understand people in-depth, more than what they are trying to say. There are signs everywhere. If the feeling is mutual, even more ecstatic.

Relationships are a funny thing, emotions, feelings and thoughts have everything to do with them. Some people say we attract our relationships towards us. Although I don’t understand it completely, there are a lot I do understand, and I’m willing to learn more about how to develop successful relationships.

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Contentment

Part 1

There was a deep sense of contentment in him. He wasn’t married, hardly ever had a girlfriend, he was a 27 year old virgin. Yes, he’d had relationships of course but they never were successful enough to last. That was one of the sorrows he’d endured. He knew he would find someone. Maybe he would have to wait a long time, longer than most of his friends who were already married or had someone and were definitely not virgins. He had attracted all the things that had happened in his life. So, really, he had no one else to blame. He created his own life.

But nonetheless, he was satisfied. Very frighteningly satisfied with who he was. He could drink a cup of coffee, sit with himself for hours, go to a museum and still feel completely happy and joy for the way he lived his life. He was content but felt a pang of loneliness. Loneliness not because he felt lonely, but because of what other people might perceive him to be. He cared a lot about other people.

He had a dark past. The future he knew would get a lot better. He had amended his mistakes for the sins he had committed. Even though he always had problems with maintaining relationships he knew he would get there. Get to the place where most people feel happy in sharing secrets, sharing their life with others. He had a sense of hidden satisfaction, where he didn’t feel the need to share things with other people. He only had to share things with himself, and that made him happy. However, he still wanted to get married, he still wanted to have a wife, a soul-mate, SOMEBODY to call his own! Often he would sing the song “Can anybody find somebody for me” but only in the 4 walls of his room.

There she was. His soul-mate. He knew it, the minute he laid eyes on her that she was the one. They met by accident. But he had to wait, and waiting was something he detested. He hated waiting. I mean, who likes waiting? He had to make the right moves this time. He had to see that it works out.

Lets see what happens in the part 2…….

Unrequited Love

ul2He’s in the room! She feels a kind of shiver go through her spine. All around her body this jitter of nervousness. Her stomach gets a bit sick looking at him, she’s been waiting to see his face the entire day. All she can think, feel and do surrounds his aura.

He notices her too, but nonchalantly pretends to be busy with other things. Her sick obsession makes him wonder, why me? Why cant she just be normal around me like she is with other people, for instance the way she is with her friends? I like her as a friend, nothing more. I dont like her the way she likes me, not in the same way because I already have Alisha my childhood sweetheart.

She goes up to him! Her feelings blinders her. “Do you happen to have notes for Doolittle’s class” she asks him! James gives her a classmate smile, tells her he doesn’t have the notes, hoping she’ll take the hint.

She makes a sad face but takes the hint. She’s tried so hard, yet he’s been so distant. Maybe its time to move on, she thinks. Time to avoid ‘Too good for her’ James.

A few months later, another fish in the sea happens to like her and they get together. Plenty of fishes in the sea, they talk about James and laugh at the foolishness.

Obsession over unrequited love is one that can affect anyone. Probably everyone of us has experienced some kind of rejection. Some kind of break up.

It takes time to move on, but its possible. Keep hope alive!

Plenty of fishes in the sea! There really are.

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